Get out of my fucking face

Hello and good afternoon, night and or morning to you filthy fuckers. Today is the day you sit on a cactus, ah-ah- I got you there! But no seriously I am the Highest Order Lama and I have a few things to talk about today. Kind of like when Harry Potter was really hungry during his stay under the staircase and he would pound on the walls for food. Dah-dah I’m hungry.

There’s problems in life, issues, just like tissues but that’s for another time. THE-POINT-I’M-TRYING- to get across to you readers is I’m getting into wearing children clothes. Show your stomach and its half the price HEY!

Lama out.




Why do fat people get the job over ME??

Lets open this bitch up with an apology, I don’t mean to offend ANYONE, I’m a nobody, I can’t tell you how to feel or how to act so don’t take anything I say seriously. But seriously WHY? I’m scratching and clawing for a job like a horny dog smells an asshole and yet I see people struggling for breathe withholding a job. Perhaps its luck, perhaps they have a hidden talent I don’t have, I’m sure of it.

But on another note, before you purchase another two hundred dollar jacket, email me fifty dollars.

Clean your fucking shoes and brush your teeth once a week. Hey,hey,hey I’m just saying how you should live your life, you already let someone else do that for you right now, right? An older woman once told me they hate someone saying Hey to them, well HEY FUCK YOU.


– The Highest Order


Shout at the top of your lungs!

Wake up, wake up, wake up it’s not the first of the month. It’s a new day, so before you hit that door pound a bottle of water, knock out twenty push ups and grab a slice of  lime  and gnar that fucker with your two front teeth.

Today is YOUR day. So stop tip-toeing in your shoes and buy a mansion. There’s never any reason when the HO Lama makes a post on the blog. It’s here to make you smile, make you feel things, like when a perfect word forms across the jigsaw board.

I piss away the words, well I pissed in  the back of my truck at work today. Yes it was legal. But as the day goes on I roll down my window and stare at the woman silently holding her dog. The dog, he, moves and the owner shouts STOP IT RUMPY, STOP IT.

Enjoy your day. You, you.

– The HO Lama


God do I love weed and woman

There’s something about a woman that smokes out of a bong, perhaps it’s her over-stained tongue or her glazed eyes. I really don’t know how to describe it but I can mash a few biblical verses together and I’m sure it’ll make sense, ah fuck it.

Marijuana has recently been legalized in a few U.S states. Do I need more of a reason to smoke? Oh wait yes I do, here’s some amazing photos my disgusting hands managed to copy, and save.

Oh holy, these woman melt my ass like my dick didn’t even exist.  I don’t know about the rest of you 619 lads but I’m on the hunt for a tie-dyed babe with massive tits.

– The Highest Order Lama